Monday, May 17, 2010

Back from the Tomb...

Hey Bloggy bloggers!

Somewhere in the midst of two weeks I lost all focus. It's like my brain was violently torn from my skull by some ancient Egyptian curse, then carried away into the afterlife to be used as a hemorrhoid pillow for Satan's ass.

I lost all the will to write, to blog, to do anything but watch Two and Half Men and eat lunch meat right out of the pack.

Has that ever happened to you? Go through a phase of a pointless-weight-gaining syndrome where you can take your dreams or leave them? The air so thick with depression that you actually gag out and throw up in your mouth?

Well it happened to me. It was disgusting, it was odd....I'm pretty sure that smell of sour ham was coming from my hair.

BUT TODAY, I had 4 sugar-caked donuts, 2 rockstars and I'm about to eat something else loaded with carbs as soon as I sniff it out....which means someone is going to be missing some change soon.

The whole point of this is to apologize for not reading your blogs or blogging at all.
You must know by now that I am an nut case capable of bouts of insanity at the drop of a dime or donut...or anything else that can get clogged in your arteries.

HOWEVA, I'm going to be writing this week. I even scheduled it in my calender. If you're not writing, you're waiting..so that makes me a waiter. And I hate serving food.

I want to be a writer dammit. So I'm back on the train...creativity is seeping through my pores. My characters are whispering promises they don't intend to keep. Out there somewhere is an agent feeling empty and hollow, they don't know why, they aren't sure what their purpose is anymore.....what they don't know, is that hollow place in their soul is a space only I can fill with my literary talents and sharp wit.

I have to save them....I have to make a difference. If only to save that agent from doing something they will regret. Creating a ripple effect that will ultimately ruin their lives and cause them to lose all of their hair.

I will set you free! Oh, literary agent who yearns for my unique words and plot lines! Your time has come.....

See, I knew I had a purpose. Somewhere under the layers these layers of chub and sarcastic defensive system lurks a best seller...an agent saver....a super hero.


Now, where's that sugar?

13 comments:

  1. I went through this a few weeks ago and am still battling through it.Maybe I need some sugar lol
    I know you can get through it amd write something fantastic and brillant that is going to make an agent sit up and pay attention
    Big hugz
    Libby
    :)

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  2. Libby- Thanks for relating. I'm glad I'm not the only nutcase in the world! Hugs back!

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  3. I had a funk like this on Friday but my go to TV show was Bones, mine only lasted a day and I didn't smell like sour ham afterwards. Glad you're feeling better! Bring on the carbs and the creativity!

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  4. I can totally relate to this! There are days when I absolutely detest the thought of sitting my butt in that chair and writing. Instead, I sit there and shovel handfuls of M&Ms into my mouth, surfing the web instead.

    Also, the bit about your brain being Satan's hemorrhoid pillow was hilarious.

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  5. So glad you're writing again. And blogging. Yes, yes, I can totally identify. Maybe it's a reaction to us thinking we have to be brilliant, productive and effective every moment of our lives. Ugh, I'm so sick of the pressure. Today I spent catching up on blogs the entire day. What a waste of time, one might say. Well, yes, I'd have to agree. But tomorrow I'll probably be superwoman again. Every other day is good, right?

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  6. Sometimes you just need a veg-break. Yep, that was me this weekend. I'm no big drinker, but I had me a weekend bingefest. I needed the pressure free time to regenerate. It worked, too. I actually produced some words today! And they weren't garbage :)

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  7. My current craving is beef! I don't know where that comes from but I'm dreaming of beef!

    Welcome back to the bloggy world! And yes go save that poor agent! You can do it! ;p

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  8. Angie- yeah, I don't know where the sour ham came from either.

    Meika- you know..I love m&m's! I can always depend on them when I don't want anything else.

    Karen G- I think I needed a little "loser" time to reboot the systems. It is very stressful wanting to be creative but not able to squeeze it out.

    Angela- I got some words out too. it amazing what couch time can achieve.

    Johana: did you finally get knocked up? Beef craving sounds slightly curious!

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  9. GEEZUS WHERE WERE YOU?!

    *huggles OfficeGirl* *puts her in her pocket*

    DON'T DO THAT AGAIN, OKAY?

    we missed you :(

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  10. Nice post i like it, keep blogging and If you want too, kindly and please visit my blog http://jabrasr.blogspot.com/ thank you in advance.

    I would like also to share this to your reader,... The Succes and Opportunity Family:

    The father of succes is WORK,
    The mother of succes is AMBITION,
    The oldest son of succes is COMMON SENSE
    Some of the other sons of success are PERSEVERENCE, HONESTY, THOROUGHNESS, FORESIGHT, ENTHUSIASM, and COOPERATION;
    The oldest daughter of succes is CHARACTER,
    Some sisters of success are CHEERFULNESS, LOYALTY, CARE, ECONOMY, and SINCERITY,
    The baby is OPPORTUNITY.

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  11. Tahereh- I got sidetracked for minute..but I think I'll be okay for a little while now.

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    CD

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  13. "Hemmoroid pillow for Satan's ass???" Sounds ruff.

    Glad you're OK and back!

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