Friday, April 30, 2010

Methods of Madness--

Tawna Fenske, author and hilarious lady of huge proportions is doing a series with FIVE other authors/writers today about their methods on how they pump out a novel and get to the end. I'm so stoked that they are all sharing this with us- the creative forces of imagination.

So,today I want to do a shout out to these wonderful people (who are now my hero's) and force you to go read their blogs Jedi mind trick you feel it? You want to go read these blogs.

No, you really do.

To me, this is a huge help. With the way I struggle with writing and setting schedules its good to know that there are writers out there achieving their dreams all while doing it their own way. Which may or may not include slight bouts of insanity.

I think for any aspiring writers information like this is extremely valuable. Especially those nights when you think your book isn't good enough or when you hate yourself for not outlining followed by binge drinking and burning your manuscript in a trash can in the middle of the night hoping no one will find you and take you to jail..

Not that I've done that or anything.

Anyhoo, take the time to check out these awesome creative souls because I got so much good helpful inside information from these writers who make it happen on their own terms!

Have a great weekend my Blogging friends! Tomorrow Ill be in Vegas making a fool out of myself! I will come back with stories of embarrassment for all to see!

These are the blogs with golden words of encouragement! Go WRITERS GOOO!!!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I am a liar.

I'm a bad friend! I know its true but because after most of you told me not to go with the new idea.. I did anyways! I feel horrible! Like we all got married and then I cheated on you with the handsome Latino pool boy..
Alas, I am somewhat of a writer and I couldn't take it anymore. I wrote two chapters of my new NEW Middle Grade Fantasy..

I know what you're thinking-- "It will never last, she'll give up on it soon!"

You would be right. But hell, maybe I'm not a great writer or ever will be but I just love it so much. So I figure, Screw it, I'll write what I want until something sticks like an inoperable tumor.

I thought since I stabbed you in the back that maybe you would like to read an excerpt from it. Let me know your thoughts because those are the ones that matter.

My only writing friends. Thank you for understanding...yet again.

(Excerpt from chapter two)


Friday, April 23, 2010

Bitch Slaps and Eyebrows..

Now I’m not one to stare but when there is someone talking to me who has no teeth and bloated neon red gums I tend to focus on it. Why do people do that? Stare at things that are disturbing and universally gross? It’s not right. I don’t even know why I do it.

Or when someone has crossed eyes? Which eye do you look at? Do they see normally or are they really looking at the ceiling? I find that if I look at the eyebrows I have a pretty okay conversation. You’ll never meet someone with misshapen eyebrows. Unless there was an aerosol can explosion it’s pretty safe to say that the eyebrows are the best focal point for conversing with a person with facial enigmas.

I bet you didn’t know that not only am I an office manager but I manage an office for a company that provides services for people with disabilities. Things like downs syndrome, autism and cerebral palsy, I love that part of my job. You never know when inspiration or disaster will strike. These guys know how to live! Why just the other day a young boy with Down syndrome came to my desk. He’s about eleven and always pats his head. When I say pat I mean smack really friggin’ hard.

I asked him how he was doing and immediately he walks around me desk with a big smile.

“Ahh you want a hug?” I say putting out my arms.

He walks towards me, not looking me in the eyes but still smiling. Things are getting weird. I can feel with my sixth sense that something not fun is going to happen. He makes his way behind me. I’m on high alert at this point but then he puts his arms around my shoulders and I think I’m going to get a real hug this time. Most other times I get bit or pinched or sat on.

I put my hand up to pat his arm and then…WHAMO!

He bitch slaps me on the cheek.

I’m not going to lie. It hurt like hell. But I couldn't stop laughing. It was so awesome that I got bitch slapped at my desk. What’s even better is that I didn’t know it was coming. That just goes to show you that the best things in life come when your not expecting it

Have a great weekend everybody! I will miss you while I'm scouring dishes and picking up dog crap!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Happy Friday!

So goes another day! I want to thank all of those of you who commented on my last post. I was really struggling with that issue. Like a former meth-head with a line in front of them.

I really really wanted to write that idea so bad that I was going to do it and not tell you guys..

I know I'm a dirty rotten liar and not a very good friend...

But I prevailed over my blackened heart and decided to do as most of you said.

Jot down the idea, save it for later and freakin' finish something already.

So I will. Ill finish my other WiPs...stupid old and boring WIPs.

I opened the 3rd and most recent failure today on Word and I just started at it my eyes two narrow slits of hatred. I think I may have growled. Is it healthy to passionately hate your work?

Maybe I'm just bored with the WIP altogether. Maybe instead of the love story in there I could have my MC kick the crap out of the love interest. You know what I think? Love interests are way over rated. What I want out of a book is a female protagonist who is a man hater. She walks around town with a syringe full of liquefied rat poison and just randomly sticks unsuspecting men.

The victimised man will turn, confused and a little scared as he absently rubs his arm. He decides that there must have been a bee in his shirt. Meandering home with a nauseous belly, he puts the strange incident behind him. He gets through the door kicks off his rancid mold filled boots, scratches his crotch then silently passes into his death.

Yup, sounds good.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FRIENDS!! I will miss you when I'm gone doing laundry!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

New Idea and Unfinshed WiPs.

So I'm in the shower last life dreams seem to be washing down the drain along with my Suave strawberry scented shampoo and it hits me.

No not the bottle of shampoo...but a new idea for a book.

Can you f'ing believe it? So far I have 3 unfinished WIP's that I can't even fathoming finishing this year and here comes this idea shuffling its way into my already massacred life. What's odd is that it seems so clear. I'm excited about it in the way you are when you get a new puppy. Its all cute and happy. You want to squeeze it make up stupid names....until it pisses on your carpet and you want to kick in the ribs and drop it in the middle of a desert.

Is this how my new idea will feel once Ive started to write it? Will it be yet another burden? Another cherry to put on my oh so wonderful crap pie?

Or do I embrace the idea? Do I run to it with arms open and just write it? Knowing that I may never get published and I might as well just write whatever crap comes to mind and bludgeon family members and friends with whenever I get the chance?

Sure, it sounds doable.

But then again I can't help but feel the Grim Reaper of failure breathing its rancid fragrance on the back of my neck. If I start this book I may never finish the others..I can hear them now gathering dust, their bad grammar haunting my every thought... the ghost of a not so pleasant past hovering around my life like unpaid property taxes.

What do you do, Dear Blogging Friend...when you have so much unfinished work and come up with a new BETTER idea that you want to write as soon as possible? Do you start the new idea or do you torture yourself with the old one KNOWING that no one will ever read that crap?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A beer and a teaser..


Nothing new going on here. I feel like my last post was just a tad on the depressing "want to slit my wrists" side and I wanted to make up for it with a cheerful post about..well..something cheerful.

So here is goes.. Today I have decided that I will drink alot of beer. Coors light mainly. I will read part of a book and try not to look even remotely in the direction of the laundry.

I will let my childern cover themselves in watercolor without being upset about it. Today will be good. Also, I thought about it and decided to change my entire WIP to first person.

All 85 pages of it. So, I'm going to need a lot of beer.

I think first person will suit it better. Besides that I think it will be a good exercise for me to get into someone else head for awhile. This should be fun and I'm siked about it.

Do you have trouble making a descion fellow blogger? Do descions haunt you? There's just so many possibilites it's hard to settle on one excact thought. In this case first person is what I'm going to go with.

I wanted to finish my book by December. And if I ignore enough of my job duties, let my little Ivy plant wither into a mass of browness and put the world on mute I might be able to do it. I can only write at work so I wonder how long it will be before I get the can? Care to take wager?

This should be excited. I've never been fired before....can't wait.

So in effort to not sound like a maniac and apologize for making the universe worry...I'm going to post a FIGHT SCENCE from my goes it..before its changed to first person. Thanks for reading! As always I adore you !
link snipped

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Blog Awards on the Fly!

Hello BlogSpot Bloggers!
I'm getting ready to go home and face the onslaught of housework which is my life.

But before I go and cry for the last twenty minutes of my day in the office restroom I have some Awards to bestow!!

This one is from the beautiful and talented Annika! Never miss a post! Delightful girl indeed! Thank you Chicky!

I'm passing it toooooo

2. Meika over at Waiting on the Muse
5. E. Elle over at The Writers Funhouse

I hope they check this blog because I'm on the clock and can't notify them properly. Running out of time as usual.... Thanks Guys for being awesome and having BITCHIN' blogs. Also, for being part of mine.

This one is from Meika! She's new to me but so glad she's here!
Love the blog! Go check it out!
I'm going to pass this one onto all my followers because you all deserve a pat on the back! This blogging stuff is like a 2nd job! Thanks to everyone for being here with me while I slowly lose my sanity and write about nothing in particular!
On a side note I will be posting a "Personal Vent" tomorrow about how much my life and writing don't mix and the strange screaming that has taken up residence inside my head.
See you soon!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

To be or not to be..immortal.

I think a question we should ask ourselves, us writers of fictional things, is what we would choose should we been given the chance to become immortal.

When I was a sullen teenager trying to find myself in a sea of pot smoking clones, I often I asked myself if I would take up an offer of immortality.

Yes, I know it’s an odd thought. But when you eat lunch by yourself next to a sea of bright red lockers and there is a rumor going around that you sacrifice goats in your spare time you often have irrational thoughts.
I knew back then that I would have done it in a second.

Now, I’m not so sure. Not only would I be chubby for all eternity but I would be forced to watch everyone I know and love get old and die. Am I okay with that? Would if be twisted to say if maybe I was okay with it? The good thing is that I know none of you will tell on me.

But I have to wonder what being immortal entails, aside from everyone you know dying right in front of you.

If you weren't "vampire immortal" what would you eat?

If you didn't eat would you still have to use the bathroom?

Would I still have a period? Because if I did have to have a period for all eternity, I would rather die.

What happens to my insides? Do they freeze upon becoming immortal? Or do they rot slowly and give me bad breath?

Not even immortality can be a beautiful thing.

Sure, writers make them out to be gorgeous shiny-tastical, mysterious beings, but in real life, where all is bound and destined to deteriorate into carcass sludge...I would think that someone immortal would smell quite badly. You know, because of all the rancid fluids not being used. Someone immortal might even be eternally crabby because they're re-living Monday with no end in sight. Kinda like my life, but at least I know I'm working towards dying. Which puts me in a better mood.

Would I still have to work in an office? Would I feel obligated to stick by my family to make sure the bills were paid? Would I be an immortal office clerk with a 401-k? This is disturbing.
So my question, knowing what I think, would you choose to be immortal should there come a day you were given the choice?