Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Whiny Wednesdays..

Hello Blogspot and all you contain! I have to tell you, that today I am not doing well. This morning I am battling ruthlessly a sudden onset of anxiety. Why you ask? I wish I knew.

It could be the two energy drinks I had this morning. It could because my quarter-written novel is confiscating the only piece of sanity I have left.

I am fully annoyed with myself. I hate that I can't write. I hate even more that I know what I want to write but I just can get focused.

I think what I need is an abrupt and violent smack on the head with inspiration. Or maybe someone could take over my life for a few days so that I could sit in the dark with a laptop and a large glass of rum.

I pick up my pen, a copy of my ms in hand, ready to edit. I'm reading through the first sentence, Two and a Half Men is blaring in the one seems to notice that I'm doing something for's safe...I read on. Then out of nowhere my skin tightens at the sound of "MOM, I need juice."

Have you ever noticed, or maybe it's just my life, that when you finally do find a small window of time for yourself someone somewhere, immediately needs something? It's "Can you get me a glass of water?" "Can you find my wallet?" "What did you do with the left over steak?" "Can you sign over your soul?"

People tell me that I need to find time for myself in order to write. They say that I need to make it a mandatory priority in my life if I'm going to be happy at all. They say "You should write at night when everyone is asleep.." Well, that would be super if by 9 pm I wasn't so riddled with exhaustion that I almost couldn't produce drool. Abraham Lincoln himself could come over at midnight for tea and crumpets and I would probably shoot him in the face. That's how much I can't stay up at night.

What is going on with these writers, like Stephanie Meyer who talks of this amazing husband who actually let her lock herself up in the room to write? My belief is that her marriage is a complete fabrication of lies and tall tales. Maybe she omitted that he was a paraplegic. My logic tells me that unless he was bed ridden and lost his legs in a terrifying cheese grading accident that he was constantly breathing down her neck. I also think that she added him to her acknowledgements because he is extremely insecure and needed validation of her love through copyrights and global appreciation and she wanted to shut him up before she drank his blood.

But that's just me.


  1. You are sooooooooooo funny,!!! you should be a stand up comic as well.
    I love mechanical pencils, how can anybody not, you do not need a pencil sharpener,,, and you brighten my day!!!!!!!!

  2. Maybe Stephanie Meyer's husband did let her lock herself in a room and write. But so would my husband if someone paid me a million dollars for my first manuscript! When you're like me, though, with seven years of writing under your belt and nothing to show for it except a huge ink and copy paper bill, not so much support!!! I feel your pain. I hope you can find time to write to your heart's content. Because you are a really good writer.

  3. Hang in there gurl...with THAT humor, you will go FAR!!!

  4. I read somewhere that SM wore headphones and CRANKED the music to drown out her kids while she wrote day and night. ;)

    Love the humor!

  5. I so feel your dilemma!!! I have a post earlier this month...or maybe last...I've blocked it out. Anyway, I detail one night's dialogue with my husband and daughter during my supposed "writing time". I'm pretty sure that once I get that seven figure deal that allows my husband to live in style, that he'll leave me alone...but until then, I'm destined for frustration. But we write on!! LOL.

  6. oh dear.

    you definitely need a double dose of QUERY-Yes!

    (cash or CC?)

    (lovesss your blog, by the by.)

  7. Too funny.
    Great writing!
    I've never been able to write at night. I fall asleep at the keyboard, get mad at myself, and crawl to my bed. Then I'm suddenly too frustrated to fall asleep. It's a very bad cycle!