I am proud to annouce that I have been writing! Yes, it's true... everyone may breath with ease now.
It's not a giant amount of writing, more like a slow drip from a clogged faucet but I'm not complaining.
I'm getting into dialogue at the moment and now that I'm forcibly ripping it out of my skull the words have become submissive to my irresistible charm. Besides I have determined that most of my writers block is fear mixed with laziness. I will not be won by my own sloth like ways! Onward and Upward, you 30% finished manuscript...
Additionally, now that I have mentally punctured myself to the point of swallowing a whole box of oreos, beer-bonging red bulls and slamming my face into my desk things seem to be set in motion. Or it might be signs of type two diabetes and a mild concussion.
Anyway, after all the self defilement I was rewarded with a dialogue that has opened like a toxic anemone, ready to poison the world with it's wit and cleverness. It is no longer stiff like a terrorist interrogation...it is now skippy and delightfully twisted. Which means I have to back track and fix past dialogue, which gives me a strange urge to slit my wrists.
I talk as I type, the characters are here in my office as my fingers glide across the keys, hovering over me like gnats, urging me to make them seem more resilient, more mysterious, more not stupid.
Especially my heroine. Who has in fact become a pain in the padded ass to write. She's oddly menstrual, strangely detached and a little on the psychotic side. As you can imagine I have spent months trying to figure her out and I still can't seem to squeeze the ketchup out of the bottle.
So, I have officially given up. But this is what I have come too, maybe that's just the way she is. Maybe she is like a man in the aspect that no matter how much I try to tweak and adjust her, it just never seems to change. So now, I will give up on figuring her out because since I have failed to do that with "real" people in my own life, there is certainly a fair chance that I will not figure her out. Plus, I'm tired.
She is hopeless and wonderfully irritating and thats the way she'll stay. Which is just peachy, because it's quite possible that the best thing about her is that she is insane, dresses horribly and perhaps even smells a little. Other characters want to strangle her, push her off a cliff or even set her house ablaze while she sleeps in her bed and yet as hard as they try they have a unrelenting urge to emancipate her....perhaps even fix what's broken.
So, I'm going to let my heroine be the way she is. Perfectly disturbed. Smelly and emotionally constipated.